sulin

sulin is tired too.shes sick and tired of everything. she wants to be happy too. but theres nothing to be happy about. everyone else is sad. shes sad too. and theres nothing to be happy about.
shes just standing there. she doesnt know what to do.

whats she studying for?shes not studying. shes just going to school. shes taking tests. she doesnt know what to study for her chinese test. shes just sitting here. shes going to fail. but so what if she fails? it will leave a horrid mark on her report card. she never fails. she used to get whatever she wanted. it was always that way. she never saw a B let alone a C on her report card. she didnt study. it was still A. now she gets Bs she gets Cs. shes not stressed.no she definitely isnt. shes just there. she goes to shcool. shes got her future all planned out.shes done most of her homework. shes going on.

so what if she gets a good job? oh that means alot that does. she will lead a comfortable life. yes she will. she will travel around the world. and she will be happy. but it will still be over in the end. she will grow old. but everyone will. its a cycle. a big fat cycle. seems quite meaningless. no. she doesnt want immortality. even if she does, she will never get it. thats why shes just here. being silly like everyone else. shes just here. and she will still be here.

and she tries to cheer people up. she would like it if somebody would cheer her up too. but nobody can since she doesnt know why shes upset. she thinks shes just being stupid. she tells people to smile. she tells people that no matter they will still have their friends. oh yes of course she has her best friends. her bestest friends ever. but one of them is sad. she has a reason for being sad. sulin wants to make her happy. so does the other best friend. but sulin's just there. she wants to be happy. but nobody's helping her smile.

shes got her grade 5 exam coming. she dreads it. but it will be over. oh no. shes not upset cos of that. definitely not. but neither isit making her feel any happier.

she wants something to look forward to. she used to have. but now she doesnt. and its her own fault. she thinks that if it never happened maybe she will still be happy. but maybe she wont. maybe it never mattered. maybe she'll be happy tomorrow. maybe. but no matter what. she will smile for her best friend.